Home Thoughts From Abroad

As you age, your sleep patterns shift. When I was younger I thought nothing of sleeping until noon. A steady job cured that. I still liked to sleep in on weekends, though. Then kids came along and cured that. Once the kids were old enough to want to sleep in themselves, my back made sure I didn’t lay around long enough to ever get breakfast in bed.

These days I set my alarm for five thirty, but if I wake up earlier I get up, ‘cuz I figure if the Lord wanted to talk to me that badly, I’d best hear what He had to say. He got me up at four thirty this morning, and as I looked around, it was pretty clear what He wanted me to do. Clean up!

I am normally a pretty clean guy, but things pile up when your working steady 12 hour days, and the place did need going over. So I put in a hour or so before I got ready for work, and I must admit the place looked better for it. Round about noon the rental agent for our apartment called. Could she show the place to a prospective client? “Sure,” I said smugly. About an hour later the rental agent for the apartment we are moving to wanted to know if she could come over after work so I could sign an agreement for the place we are moving to (that has an actual kitchen, instead of a sink and a tiny counter). “Sure,” I said, even more smugly than before.

She has just left; a lovely Christian lady, who will in fact become our neighbour. She left with glowing words about how clean the place was and how we were going to make such good tenants in the new apartment and of course anything that needing fixing she would look after ’cause we obviously were going to look after it. Neat how that works, huh? It cost me one hour, it secured us a good witness for years to come. I like the deals the Lord gives me. They are always to my advantage!

 

And we are so thrilled!

Nihiwatu means “pounding stone,” and the name is most appropriate. Topping Conde Nast ‘s list of top ten resorts of 2006 the resort’s most famous feature is the surf, which relentlessly pounds the shore of this remote island. Aussies love the place, shunning the tamer and more commercialized beaches of Bali, for the more austere surroundings of Sumba -if they can afford it! (see review at http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/articles/detail?articleId=10419&pageNumber=1 )

We loved it too (although we agonized somewhat over the expense), especially as we got a free upgrade to the villa overlooking the beach. We even tried the surf, Pam on a boogie board, Steve on a full-sized surf board. Pam got the better ride, delightedly screaming all the way in, to the cheers of the onlooking crowd. Steve got tumbled endlessly until, exhausted, he had to give up without once getting to his feet.

Several bruised ribs later, we contented ourselves for the rest of the week watching the Aussies effortlessly tame the waves, which curl left along the beach, and looking for shells and turtles at the water’s edge. We took an overland trek through the hills and rice paddies of Sumba to another beach where the waves were more manageable, where we had a picnic in the shade of a grotto overlooking the shore with our new friends Brian and Claire from Oxford.

Friends were easy to find at a resort where only ten couples are allowed at a time. Suppers were leisurely affairs, graced with laughter and stories, excellent food and attentive service from a kind and friendly staff. Beautiful surroundings, great food, new friends, laughter and sunshine: what else do you need for a great vacation?

Ok, so now we are coming back from Nihiwatu! A short week, but really amazing. We are parked in one of those marvels of the modern age: the internet cafe, searching vainly for news of our new grandchild. (Notice the absence of the gender-specific). This particular internet cafe is in Bali, which is why you are not going to get much of a post from here. There’s too much to do and see and little time to explore.

We will get you caught up on our fantastic week when we get back to KL. But we will tell that the waves are indeed something that you do not want to take lightly: they are awesome and very powerful and we are fortunate that all we lost was a hat. Three surfboards were snapped in half this week by the power of the surf. But they are also irresistably compelling, and we did have our own adventures, to be sure.

 That’s all for now. Think baby, and maybe it will happen!

“A wedding anniversary is a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.  The order varies for any given year.”    

Despite what you may have read on these pages recently, this year has been about partnership. Our roles have been modified over the years as we have gone through mortgages and childbirth, career change and travel, but the fundamental understanding that we are equal partners before the Lord hasn’t changed.

Perhaps because we were older when we met (24 and 27) and more sure of ourselves, we could allow the other some room to grow and be the person God intended. I know we have both tried to do that. We know also that work and kids and church and family have always been trying to push us in the direction of their needs, so it hasn’t been easy. But here we are, thirty years into our marriage, and we are still attempting to foster that completeness in the other that fulfils us and accomplishes God’s purpose.

We have not made this journey alone. Our families, friends and colleagues have helped us with their support and encouragement. Our children have been an inspiration to us, as they have faced their challenges with courage, humour and compassion. And of course God has been there providing and guiding; His hand of grace and rebuke molding our lives after the kind intention of His will.

For those of you who know us, we thank you for your affection and your support. We wouldn’t be here today without your help. You have enriched our lives and given us strength. We sincerely hope that our marriage has been a source of hope and encouragement to you in your journey through life. God has been good to us in giving us to each other. We trust that our lives have shown you that goodness, for that too is His intention.

Not everyone gets to fight physical battles for the Lord. King David did, as did Samson and Gideon. Significantly, although they were great champions, they all lost spiritual battles, which is a telling comment on which is the harder fight to wage.

Carol Stagg waged a lifelong battle, not against physical enemies without, but against her own body. Diagnosed with lupus in her youth, at a time when sufferers rarely lived more than five years, Carol fought tenaciously for her right to live her whole life. She bore and raised three children, all girls, all fighters like their Mom. She spent sixteen years on the mission field in Bangladesh, which considering that lupus ‘flares’ are exacerbated by exposure to sunlight, was a heroic commitment to God. And she unfailingly extended her legendary hospitality to everyone the Lord sent her way.

We so clearly remember her kindness to our entire family when we were serving in Bangladesh; how she brought us all over for Canadian Thanksgiving for a fabulous meal, topped by her famous 17 layer torte, and delighted our children by producing from her store of goodies some A&W Root Beer. Then there was Christmas, with her house aglow with light and warmth, with presents for our children that were so appropriate to their characters. And all the time she fought the physical enemy within, the autoimmune response which deformed her hands and attacked her vital organs.

I have been thinking about Carol Stagg a lot while I have been over here. No only because she has been so sick lately, but because I have as well. Last November my allergies were in overdrive, making it hard just to get to school, let alone do a decent job teaching. Then I got a virus that was unlike anything I have ever experienced, it was so physically debilitating. Then my body reacted to all the medication I was taking and finally I threw my back out. I was a mess for a month, but I went to work every day.

It was my faith in the Lord and His ‘kind intention’ that got me through. That, and the reminder of Carol’s example. I thought of what she had endured for God; her courage, her steadfast refusal to give in to the deficiencies of her body, and it gave me strength. She had fought that good fight for fifty years; I could endure for a few weeks.

Carol Stagg passed away on Friday, finally succumbing to cancer after another heroic fight to live. She leaves behind a remarkable legacy of Christian grit that no one who has known her will ever forget. In the midst of our sorrow at her passing is the knowledge that our lives have been made so much richer by knowing her. And the comfort that where she is today, there is no more pain. 

Happy Birthday Dad, Grand Pa, Great Grand Pa (Uncle Joe to some of our readers).  We love you! 

My Dad is the sweetest man on earth and at 83 still gets great joy out of life, his family and his painting and projects around the house.  He is always delighted to be on the sidelines, cheering on his grand children in whatever activity they are involved.  He has been a constant source of support and encouragement to me all my life and to Steve and I throughout our marriage.  He has provided a consistent godly example to us all and I never once saw him place his own needs above those of his family. 

Dad did not have an easy start. He was one of about 100,000 child immigrants called “Home Children” who were sent to Canada from Great Britain in the hopes that they would have a better chance at a healthy life in rural Canada.   After a number of years with the McRae family in a small town near Cornwall and some time out west, he headed to Toronto where he met Mom.  Dad and Mom were both saved in Toronto when they were teenagers and married young.  Working two jobs for much of his life while supporting seven children wasn’t easy in the rural areas around London, but Dad never faltered in his faith or tired of offering hospitality to whoever the Lord sent their way. 

When Mom became ill he nursed her tenderly and faithfully for years, earning a reputation in Mom’s nursing homes for his compassion, thoughtfulness to others, and his resilience. If there are better examples of what courage and kindness it takes to be a true follower of Christ, I’ve yet to meet them. We love you Dad, and wish you all the best on this special day.

We’ve always been pretty good at planning. It takes time and a willingness to listen to what the other is trying to say. I’ve always thought better in conversation than I do in isolation, so talking is pretty important to me.

It took about twenty years of planning to get back to Asia. The last three years have been more about timing – the when, not the what. We both always knew that we would come back. Bangladesh had affected us that deeply. We also knew that the door was closing pretty rapidly. It is not easy to get a job overseas once you reach the age of sixty.

So now that we are here its all about managing our health so we can stay for a bit. We are both looking at the calendar with one eye and our vital signs with the other. The good news is that Malaysia is a pretty good place to live (provided you don’t drive!) and with the pool at our condo and the walking we both do it is pretty easy to stay fit. The bad news is that at our age it just takes one bad fall and we’re in big trouble.

I’m encouraged by the fact that my Mom is nearing 89 and Pam’s Dad 83 and both still have all their faculties – somewhat gently used, it’s true. My sister at sixty plus was looking after her granddaughter just this month while her daughter was having her second child, and my brother at just past sixty is considering going back to university to get his Ph.D! Good for all of them! I hope we can do as well when we get there in the not-too-distant future.