Home Thoughts From Abroad

According to United Nations, 54% or 3.9 billion of the world’s population, lives in urban settings and by 2050 it is estimated that that number will rise to 66%, a further 2.5 billion people. Given that the area of emphasis we have chosen for our Master’s is International Development and Urban Studies, we have taken several courses dealing with poverty, organizing in urban centers and understanding the unique needs for ministry in urban settings. These courses have also included some useful tools for assessing needs, engaging with communities, planning and implementing programs.

Steve is currently taking a course called “Encountering the City” which requires him to complete an ethnographic study of a neighbourhood. So today we set out for a four hour visit to Brickfields, Little India to do an exegesis of the area. This involves close observation and reflection, which is something we had learned how to do in a prvious course in Seattle. The word exegesis means a critical interpretation and is commonly what we do when we read the Bible, we exegete the text with a view to discerning its truth for our lives.If we are committed to serving in an area that God has called us to, then we need to be able to see what is going on in our areas, what the people view as most important, what they hope for, fear and believe. We also need to understand the narrative of their lives and their communities in order to see what God is doing so that we can seek and to partner with Him in the work.

In order to learn about the community we looked at the types of housing, the streetscapes, the transportation corridors, government services, community centers, charities, places of worship, stores, cafes, local hangouts, health care facilities, schools, graffiti and industries. Steve had prepared some survey questions which gave us opportunity to chat with the residents. Occasionally we invited respondents to join us for lunch. As we walked, sampled the street food and chatted we were able to get a sense of the places that represented life and hope and beauty for the community but also those that showed evidence of poverty, neglect and despair.

The Indians love their bright colours, music, flowers, food and family and we thoroughly enjoyed getting to know this community a bit better, practicing new skills and doing research for a current project. Our lives may seem a little strange to those of you who have much better things to do on a Saturday, but for us it was a fun and fascinating day filled with discovery and blessing.

Matt and Kate Thompson, friends from our church, West London Alliance in London, came to visit with us in Kuala Lumpur over the last few days. To say that we were excited to have them here doesn’t do justice to the occasion. Pam and I were like puppies who had been adopted. Really? You want to visit with us in KL? Really?

We laid out the royal carpet and got out the fine china. Well, okay, we have no fine china and carpets don’t make any sense at all in this climate. But metaphorically speaking, we did our best to make our guests feel welcome. For their part Matt and Kate were happy to be shown around town and game to jump through all the typical tourist hoops of seeing the Twin Towers and shopping in Chinatown. Rather unusually, Matt chose not to stock up on Rolex watches and Kate seemed to have no appetite for cut-rate Gucci handbags. But they did just come from Cambodia whose prices make Malaysia’s seem positively outrageous, so their reticence was perhaps understandable.

We climbed all 300 steps to the Batu Caves, and since the cable car was down for repairs, drove all the way to the top of Genting Highlands, Pam’s terror greatly modified by the fact that she couldn’t see anything of the road ahead through Matt’s head. Once at the top we had a lovely buffet meal which we didn’t rush through, and even took the time for a brief look at the Sunway Mall, all lit up in honour of Ramadan. They all got way too much sun lounging around the pool (while I ran around in panic mode at work) and slept comfortably in the guest bedroom (to which you, gentle reader, are also invited), having exhausted themselves in the service of the Lord at English camp in Cambodia.

All of this is pretty standard fare when you go to visit a foreign country which you are unlikely to see again. What was not standard fare, and very much appreciated, was the lovely long conversations about ministry and missionary service. This is all we have been doing for the last seven years, and we get very little chance to share what the Lord has been teaching us, where He has called us to minister, with the church He has called us to fellowship with. It is a strange disconnect, and one that cannot easily be overcome. They also brought with them the gift of cards and notes from the congregation; a gift of immeasurable value. We intend to open only one a day and pray for each one who was kind enough to write and encourage us.

We see in Matt and Kate a couple much like us; hearing God’s call to serve in what for many seems like an unusual way, not sure what it means for them professionally or personally, but willing to walk the road the Lord has marked out for them to journey along. We know from personal experience that this road is often lined with loneliness, loss and misunderstanding. But it is also a road of great wonder and joy as you watch God blaze a trail through an unknown difficulties with grace and kindness. Some of that grace and kindness came to us this week in the form of Matt and Kate, messengers of God’s love to us, and a reminder that His people have not forgotten us. We are humbled and blessed, and very, very grateful.

On our second day in Mumbai, we met up with the American students for a visit to Dharavi which is one of the largest slums in the world, renowned for its prominence in the movie Slumdog Millionaire.  Situated on just over 500 acres of land, it is a multi-ethnic settlement that is home to upwards of a million people (2000 per acre) most of whom are rural poor from all over India who have migrated to the city to find work. We made our way through incredibly small passageways, some too low to even stand up in, past the tiny, stacked homes of Muslims, Hindus, Buddhist and Christians who work and raise their families together in this slum.

As this area, which is located on a tract of land that runs between two suburban railway lines, has been in existence since the late 1800s, it is considered a “legal slum” so the government provides electricity and a source of water. However with an inadequate supply of clean drinking water and only one toilet for every 700 people, a creek which runs through the district is widely used by local residents for toilet functions, leading to the spread of contagious diseases. There is a very active market place, community organizations and numerous mosques, temples and churches to serve people of the community. Inside the houses appear very clean, and some families try to make their, often single room homes, pleasant with curtains and flowers and plants.

The amazing thing about Dharavi is that it has an active informal economy of household businesses that employ many of the local residents that is estimated to have an annual turnover of more than $650 million US dollars and exports goods around the world. The district has an estimated 5000 businesses and 15,000 single-room factories. We saw many people hard at work in industries recycling plastics and aluminum, creating leather products, textiles, baking and pottery but could not begin to figure out how they managed to organize it all. Somehow through these crowded rabbit warrens masses of raw materials are brought in, processed, packaged and carried back out to markets and someone keeps track of all of this. The income for workers here ranges from $200 to $500 US per year.

We saw the finished projects and these hides leave the slums as beautiful purses, briefcases and belts ready for the name brand companies to add their special logo.

Mumbai is a city where house prices and rents are among the highest in the world and Dharavi provides a cheap and affordable option to those who move to Mumbai to earn their living. We were told that the poor in Mumbai are not those who can afford to live in the slums but the “pavement dwellers” living under a tarp or cardboard on the sidewalks. The message clearly was that Dharavi provides a safe, affordable home, an income and a sense of community for the residents and is not the filthy, dangerous place that it appears to outsiders.

I am afraid that I was not convinced. It may provide all of those things for people but ultimately I do not believe that anyone who bears the image of the Creator ever deserves to work that hard just to survive nor should they be subjected to the indignity of living in these circumstances. It is a shame on those of us who have plenty and the wherewithal to meet needs and transform lives.

As part of Steve’s work, he was asked to represent the school at a meeting in Mumbai and to meet up with an American team who were doing a project in India. Since his costs were covered and we have not yet been to India, it seemed like a good opportunity for me to tag along. We arrived in the brand new, majestic airport shortly after midnight and fortunately were greeted by hotel staff who escorted us into the night. As seedy and frightening as the area looked in the dark, it was even worse in daylight. The scene outside our window was reminiscent of our memories of Bangladesh nearly thirty years ago. In spite of the area, the hotel was actually quite pleasant and the customer service was excellent.

We met up with a group of students and staff from Andover and Exeter academies in the afternoon to visit quite an amazing and unique project called Mumbai Mobile Creche which serves more than 4500 children in Mumbai.  The construction industry is the single largest employer of migrant workers in India with an estimated 30 million men and women moving to cities with their children and living on construction sites. While parents are working their children are often left to fend for themselves and are at risk for malnutrition, injury and illness. MMC exists to support the health, education and safety needs of these children and their families.

The site we visited was a massive project building a Marriott hotel near the international airport, employing over 500 labourers and families. There are about 40 preschoolers there who receive food, early childhood education and medical surveillance through MMC. As well they provide basic hygiene, health and parenting education to mothers, and support to ensure that school aged kids are enrolled and have the supplies needed to attend local schools. MMC also provides a yearlong training program for local women who wish to become teachers either for MMC or in government schools.

After a brief stop at the hotel to freshen up, since the temperature was in the high 30s, we went to the India National Sport Center for dinner and an evening get together hosted by the India co-ordinator of the international school project we were observing. It was a great evening with three speakers who each lead a major initiative and gave their perspective on leadership. We enjoyed some excellent food and a rousing lesson in Bollywood and regional cultural dances.Our Indian hostess Avanti, (on the left wearing green) lead the event with great confidence and poise, spoke knowledgeably and pasionately about her leadership and experience in the program and the goals and rationale for what she hoped to accomplish through her work. We just kept shaking our heads at the realization that this young lady is just sixteen years old and has already accomplished more than many people do in a lifetime.

My children made me a father. I don’t mean that they came into the world and my name was entered into their birth certificate in the appropriate place. That was true also; but that is not what I mean. I mean that through their influence I grew into the role. I became the father they needed. This is why:

They trusted me. Trust is a huge motivator; much more effective than fear. Fear causes you to close down; to seek the most available route out of trouble. Trust causes you to grow to meet your children’s (often unrealistic) expectations. You want to be larger, not smaller. You want to give more, not less. Their innocent trust in your abilities drives you to develop those abilities. Their trust in your character drives you to refine and purge that character. Their trust in your wisdom drives you to research and understand the issues that concern them. A child’s trust is not something you can mess with. You have to earn it.

They loved me. I so do not deserve that love. I am tough-minded and even cruel on occasion. Life has often kicked me in the face and I have fought back. Hard. I can be unforgiving and relentless. But my children loved me. And I wanted to be worthy of that love. I took their rebuke and disappointment in me and turned it into lessons for improvement. I confessed my unworthiness and sought to be more worthy. I dug deep into my faith and asked God to show me what needed to change. My children’s love for me transformed me into a better man, and continues to do so.

They respected me. This is the ground of a man’s being. His children’s respect will drive him to heroics of self-sacrifice. Men who lose the respect of their children lose the better half of themselves. My children may not have agreed with every decision I made, but I ran every decision through this filter: Is this worthy of my children’s respect? Not their agreement; not their compliance. Those are different issues. But everything you do has to meet this standard or it is a non-starter. My children have their own priorities and concerns and they do not perfectly align with my own. But I know they respect me, and I am determined to live a life that is worthy of that respect to my dying breath. Their respect influences my behaviour. Always has.

My children made me a father; made me a better man. But here is the icing on that cake: their lives bring me great joy! They are no more perfect than I am. But they all live lives that are worthy and uplifting. They are all ruled by kindness and consideration. They all understand the value of relationship and are not slaves to money or superficial consumerism. They care for others, and they care for each other. This is the sweet legacy of having tried to be the father that my children needed me to be. My children made me a father, and that has been the greatest joy in my life.

“Sometimes life takes us places we never expected to go and in those places God writes a story that we never thought would be ours.” Our family has had its share of ups and downs, as has all other families. No couple can raise three children in such a tumultuous age as ours and put four parents to eternal rest without heartache. We come home to North America each year knowing that we will face our share of whatever our grown children and their children are going through, and determined to be a closer part of their lives, at least briefly, so that we might share in their joys and their burdens.

This year our time in Seattle was unexpectedly early and lengthy, a blessing that was a result of our reassessment of our course load for our Master’s degrees that will reduce our burden by six courses each. We enjoyed the additional time in a beautiful part of North America, and had the rare privilege of looking after three of our grandchildren for a week while their parents enjoyed a well-deserved and long overdue vacation in Hawaii. Having the opportunity to get to know these three adorable children a little better and walk/ride/drive them to school daily was to us like winning the lottery, minus the money of course. Though we greatly enjoyed all that we did, we had a lot less energy by the end of the week!

Flying on to Calgary in a gorgeously clear sky over the Cascades and the Rockies brought us to the other two grown children, Dave and Liz, and the lives in which they are engaged. Liz and her husband have one son, a dear fellow with a happy, inquisitive nature and a fearless thirst for adventure. He was due to have a little brother in October, but the baby was stillborn at twenty one weeks into our daughter’s pregnancy: his little heart succumbing to a congenital defect.

The families rallied around, as good families do at such times, and our daughter was well-supported and cherished through this difficult time. Her own character is strong and resilient, the heritage of a loving home and a capable and caring mother. As devoted Christians, we are of the conviction that a loving God arranged for us to be home at this unusual time in the year for us so we could be present to help out wherever we could. It would have been unbearable to be in Malaysia while our daughter and her husband were going through this. Jon flew up from Seattle to be with his sister and show his support as well. Though overwhelmingly sad, this loss was tempered by the evident love of all for the little life that was lost.

We also found comfort in the joy that Liz and Greg’s little toddler, Russell takes in life. He is crawling fearlessly and standing with support. Soon he will be walking and falling over the place. Seeing the world through his eyes was a great joy. Dave was facing an unexpected slowdown at work, and was doing his best not to be anxious about his job. Yesterday his company landed an enormous contract for a reservoir outside of Calgary that will see them right through the winter. The two of us snuck in a few brief minutes at a local driving range with a promise to get in a least nine holes next time we are home. Our evenings were often spent in family meals around Greg and Liz’s dining room table eating the finest barbequed beef that Alberta could produce, Greg’s parents joining us on occasion.

Now I am sitting in the airport lounge at Calgary airport, nursing a soy latte and trying to put into words what the last month has been like. Living in Malaysia has been a tremendous adventure and it is a much appreciated opportunity to serve God and do some good in a part of the world that needs the expertise and skill set that Pam and I possess. But a month like we have just been through reminds us that there are more things to our life than service, no matter how significant, and whatever we do now and in the future must include our families in a meaningful way. We don’t want to be visitors in our children’s lives; they are too important to us.