Home Thoughts From Abroad

Malaysia has not signed the 1951 United Nations Convention on the Status of Refugees (one of the few countries in the world that has not), so refugees in this country are by Malaysia’s definition of the word, illegal. This means that they cannot officially work and they cannot attend school. There are refugees in this country, however. Some come from Burma, thinking that their Muslim faith will earn them some consideration in this largely Muslim country. Some come from as far away as Somalia, for the same reason. They eke out an existence in the corners of Kuala Lumpur, trying to avoid notice and trying to get both an education and a job until they can find a country that will accept them and give them status.

The Canadian teachers in our program have undertaken to help them out where we can. We collect computers and school equipment for them, and cash donations every once in awhile. And we transport eight or nine students over to the school three days a week to help out with the teaching. This week was my turn to accompany the kids and provide some teaching for the adults in the school.

There were thirty-five to forty adults packed into the ‘classroom’ with nothing but a fan and a small opening for a window to break the stifling heat. I taught syllabic structure, an important component for ESL learners, although I didn’t tell anyone that I was doing so. Instead I told them that I was teaching them Haiku. Haiku is a very structured form of poetry that depends upon an understanding of syllabic structure to succeed. You don’t always tell your students the real purpose of the lesson. A little ‘smoke and mirrors’ helps the show to work.

I taught them other forms of poetic structure as well, just to get them used to the idea. I taught them iambic and trochaic forms in William Blake’s ‘London’ so that I could give them the message that it was the duty of writers to criticize the organizations that rule them if they were acting in an unconscionable manner. I taught them ‘Lochinvar’ so they could clap out the galloping rhythm of anapaestic metre and hear the message that arranged marriages should be trumped by love. Yes, this is clearly a little subversive of me. But thinking is, by its very nature, a subversive activity. We do a lot of that in English.

I also taught them ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’ to teach them spondaic and dactylic rhythms and to let them have a little fun in singing a round. But mostly the kids and I taught them that in a caring society refugees should be treated like people. They should not be forgotten and isolated, hidden away from society’s view and care. We hope that message gets through to the students in our program as well. Who are the refugees where you live?

“Teach Christ always. If necessary, use words.” – St Francis of Assisi

It is always such a pleasure to spend time with my CHE friends and colleagues. We have just wrapped up a great four day conference with representatives from Thailand, Myanmar, Philippines, India, PNG, Papua and Indonesia, Cambodia and Laos. When I listen to these folks give reports on their activities, I feel like they are family. They understand the importance of meeting the needs of the whole person if you truly want to transform individuals and families.

I am reasonably sure that St Francis Assisi was aware of the verse in 1 Peter 3:15 that says “always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence”. But how can you give an answer if no one asks a question? Why would they ask a question if they don’t see you living your life in a way that is different from the rest of the world around you? When people see us loving the unlovable, sharing what we have with those who don’t have, and living out the greatest commands (Love God, Love others) THEN they ask questions. They want to know why we do it, day in and day out. Why would we bother? What drives us? What do we get out of it? THAT is when we use words, because then it has become necessary.

You might well ask, “But what if it takes two years? What if they are of a different faith? What if they are prostitutes? What if they are drug addicts or alcoholics?” Love them anyway, it will get them thinking and maybe they will ask the question.

This is what CHE is about, genuinely caring about all the needs of the whole person, responding to them with no strings attached, and showing them their value in God’s eyes. Then we have earned the right to answer the deep spiritual questions they long to hear. It was such an encouragement to hear report after report of how communities and individuals are being changed by this approach. It was such a privilege to be able to share the work that has been going on in Cambodia during this past year. It was such a challenge to hear about the task that lies ahead of us.

It is that task, of changing lives through the power of Christ’s word and His sacrifice, that we ask you to pray for. God is doing wonderful things in South-East Asia. People have been praying for the 10/40 window that runs through North Africa for years. In our time we are beginning to see the Lord answer those prayers. Great changes are coming for the kingdom. Those changes will happen in South-East Asia as well if we continue to be faithful to the one who has called us to care for the whole world, and for all His people, no matter where they live.

When I was a young man I was beset with dogs yammering at my soul and wanted to find some relief; dogs of uncertainty and doubt, of self-denial and confusion; dogs of anger and bitterness, regret and a gnawing despair. After the heady days of youthful possibilities I faced a future of limited alternatives. I went looking for answers. In a moment of what I considered at the time to be rare idiocy I called upon God, if He even existed, to show me the way.

Much to my surprise, He showed up. What is that like? Well it is like walking through a sedate and cultured park with all these yapping dogs at your heels and you shout out for help and a lion shows up. All the lion has to do is roar and the dogs run for the hills. But there you are, in a sedate and cultured park face to face with a lion. Not, as C.S. Lewis would say, a “tame” lion, but a wild and astonishingly real lion, awesome in a way that makes you both fearful and honoured by his presence.

Just his presence (Beside you? Inside you? It is hard to tell at such a moment) changes you; makes you aware of a reality far more vast that you have ever imagined, and you are changed. In that timeless second you are changed for all time. Those without faith have no idea of the power of that encounter. You could torture me and I could no more renounce the experience of it than I could consciously stop my heart from beating. That incident was over 30 years ago, and yet it is fresh and clear in my memory as the words I am typing at this moment. That encounter has driven me into the most amazing adventure of life and sustained me through a thousand obstacles.

I do not deny that my particular “brand” of faith – Evangelical Protestant Christianity – has its problems. But I would hold that all of its problems come from the fact that imperfect people like me are trying to come to grips with a reality and a truth that far outstrips our capacity to understand or implement it. I sincerely apologize if I or anyone who has held a like precious faith has hurt or insulted you in their ignorance and incomplete understanding.

But despite our faults, the reality and the truth remain. They are out there. God Himself is out there. And the truly astonishing thing is that He actually wants to meet us: stupid, broken, angry, dysfunctional people, who like myself are so full of their own self-importance they cannot see the universe in front of them. God wants to meet you. But don’t go looking for that encounter lightly, because it will change you irrevocably, and you may not want to be changed.

This is story of the last words of the Buddha, preserved in the Kampee Khom, the ancient Khmer Canon of Buddhist writings. It is excerpted from Steve Cioccolanti’s book From Buddha to Christ. Ciccolanti is a former Thai Buddhist now ministering for Christ in Australia.

When Buddha was travelling in this life an old Brahman prahm (Hindu priest) dressed in white came to ask Buddha, “How can one follow all the commandments and escape from his sins?”

Buddha replied, “Even if you gave alms to the poor, donated gifts to the monks kept all the seen (commandments), the five seen, the eight seen, the 227 seen (all the collected commandments of Buddha), even if you lifted your hands to the sky in worship, still you could not save yourself from your sins. It is not even enough to get close to the gates of heaven.

The old Brahman continued, “If this is so, what must we do to escape and be safe from sin?”

Buddha replied, “The sins of humanity are many and heavy. They are heavier than the sky and thicker than the earth. One man’s sin is thicker than the granite stone that is used to bury his body. If an angel came from heaven and gave this stone a sweep with a cloth once a year, the day that stone disappears will be the day that man’s sin and karma disappear.”

The Brahman pressed on, “If this be the case, what must I do to get over all my sins?”

Buddha told him, “Let all of you continue to do good deeds and seek for another Holy One who will come and save the world. He will rescue you in the near future. (Buddha died in 483 B.C.)

The old Brahman asked, “This Holy One who will come and rescue the world in the near future, what does he look like?”

Buddha replied, “The Holy One who will come will have scars in his hands and his feet like the shape of a gongjak (an ancient weapon with jagged edges). In his side there is a stab wound. His forehead is covered in blemishes. This Holy One will be like a golden vessel, a very large one that will carry you across the cycle of suffering until you reach Heaven Nippan (heaven of no return).

“Do not pursue the old ways, for then you will certainly not escape. Turn from your old ways and you will have a new spirit that shines like a lightening bug come down from Heaven to dwell in your hearts. You will be given victory over all your enemies, whether they come against you from four directions or eight. Nobody will be any means harm you and you will not come back to this world again.”

There are many parts of the Christian Body. Some are hands, some are ears, and some are hearts. There are facilitators and conciliators, comforters and encouragers. It takes all kinds to make a complete Body of Christ here on earth. Each of us has a part in that complete Body, and no part is of greater value than the other. The caring commoner in the congregation is just as vital to the ministry of the Body as the minister who preaches the Word, and no one in the awesome majesty of God can boast that he or she is greater, for all are one in the sight of Christ.

Of all the gifts that God has given to me, that of encourager and teacher, giver and helper, none is more onerous and difficult than that of confronter. I could earnestly wish that He hadn’t. But as I look at my life and the things that Christ has given me a passion for, I am forced to admit that a passion for His Word, and a desire to see its truth glorified in the marketplace of ideas drives many of my conversations.

I had one of those conversations this week. After the first day of teaching, we invited the participants to talk to us, to bring to us their questions and have a conversation with us. A few took us up on the offer, and I and one of them fell to discussing the differences between the Christ of God and the Buddha. “The Buddha had no intention of starting a religion, he began, he merely wanted to tell us how to live so that we would be happy.”

“I find it strange,” I began, “that one who wanted to teach us how to be happy would begin his four noble truths with the statement that all of life is suffering.” “Ah yes, the questioner said,” but Buddha showed us how to escape that suffering and be happy.” “I don’t find that to be true,” I continued. “Buddha said that all suffering came from desire. And yet I have greatly desired that my children grow up to be good and learn to be kind to others so that they will be a blessing to all whom they meet. How can Buddha call such a desire a bad thing?”

“I have asked many monks the same thing,” he replied, “and have received no satisfactory answer. Buddha himself desired to do good by teaching others, how can that be a bad desire? This has often troubled me.” “Tell me another thing,” I said, “Buddha taught that we must be reincarnated and live again in order to pay off the load of debt for our wrong doings, a load of debt he called karma. But Buddha taught that I am always adding to my load of wrong. I kill and eat animals for food, for example. And therefore every time I am reincarnated, I am adding to my load of debt for wrong. How can I escape this karma?”

“I do not know,” he admitted. “Buddha himself offered a solution toward the end of his life,” I told him. “It is contained in his teachings. He said that only a Saviour could pay the debt load of sin. Were you aware of that teaching?” “I am not a practicing Buddhist,” he confessed. “I am only a Buddhist because my parents and grandparents were Buddhists. I no longer know what I believe.”

I said I believed that Buddha was right. That only One can pay for my karma, my debt load of wrong; a Saviour. I believe this Saviour has paid the price for my wrong doings. I believe I am forgiven because He paid for those wrongs. I have been freed from my karma and I feel liberated and have a great joy in my heart. I want to serve this Saviour with all of my strength because He has forgive a debt of wrong I could never repay. Serving Him has filled my life with purpose and joy.

He looked at me in a mixture of doubt and resentment. I had touched a chord, a sore spot in his life, and he knew that I had done so. There was an awkward silence that was quickly filled by others seeking to change the topic to something safer. Later these same people rebuked me for being confrontational, for making another feel uncomfortable. They are right. I did make him feel uncomfortable. But here is my question to all of you who think that confrontation is never good. Would you be happier if this nominal Buddhist was never uncomfortable? Would be you happier if he went to his grave comfortable in his confusion and disbelief? Would his eternal destiny be more comfortable if he died in his sins?

This not an easy ministry. Those who are comforters are themselves comforted. Those who are encouragers are themselves encouraged. Those who confront others with the truth of the gospel of Christ are often rebuked and confronted by others. It grieves my poor heart that this should be so. I have a sensitive spirit, and am easily overcome and discouraged by the unkindness of others. I ask only what others in the body of Christ ask; that you would understand that I seek only His glory and desire to serve only His purpose. That you would be gentler in your rebuke and more understanding of God’s greater purpose in all our lives as we fulfil our part in His Body on earth. Some are called to speak the truth. I always try to do it in love, but I cannot fail to speak, for then I would be unfaithful to how the Lord is leading me.

It is Chinese New Years so Steve has a week off from school, which we intend to put to good use. Steve flew up to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand on Tuesday right after school. He is doing a two day crash course on the strategies and teaching principles of CHE so that he can join us in the training and also assist with the writing of new lessons and stories. This project is growing very rapidly and we will clearly need all the help we can get to keep up the pace.

Today I will head to Phnom Penh to ensure all is in order for the second week of Moral Values Training for RHAC and get the new manuals printed. Bill and Sharon are enroute from Canada via New Zealand and will arrive in Cambodia early Friday for a day of meetings and planning. Steve will join us in PP Friday afternoon in time for us to meet up for supper with some Canadian friends from Rattanak Foundation with whom we hope to collaborate in the future. We will have Saturday to finally sit together and go over the lessons and schedule for next week. I will try to get in a visit to the TWR office to attend a farewell party for Paul and Kathy, TWR missionaries who have served in Cambodia for about eight years and are now moving on to Guam.

On Sunday Su Min and Sing Yu will arrive and we will meet up with about thirty doctors and program managers from RHAC for a five hour bus ride up to Seim Reap. This will be a whole new group who have had no exposure to the training and we are looking forward to this informal opportunity to build relationships with these amazing Cambodians who have a desire to change the moral fiber of their country.

This time we will hold the workshop in the field on the terrace of one of their clinics in Siem Reap. They asked if they could have one day right in Angkor Wat, as a symbol that they want to see the very roots of their cultural values transformed! Interesting isn’t it, coming from secular Buddhists? We don’t know if that will happen due to logistics, but it certainly shows some deep thinking going on. They have begun to change the leadership style of the organization and want to ‘permeate’ it with this teaching… pray they will be drawn as well to the Source of all that is good and who also gives us the power to live it in real life through His transforming Spirit within us.

A long-time colleague of mine passed away recently; a man with whom I had worked for several years at a school back in Canada. Famous for his temper, he was both reviled and feared by students and colleagues alike. Yet, as is often the case when we examine such people, the Lord was able to teach me much about my own temper through this man. By his example I saw more clearly how odious my own bouts of intemperance were, and how destructive to the self-esteem of others.

My father had a nasty temper. He had been an officer in the war, rising to major before its end, and he was used to giving orders and being obeyed. He was not easily provoked, but once inflamed, he was not to be trifled with. My mother was strong-willed and selfish, and liked things to go her way. Between the two of them, our house was rarely peaceful. Understandably, my siblings and I grew up with anger management issues. Accepting Christ at 27 should have taken care of that issue for me. But as anyone who has come to Christ as an adult will tell you, there is a lot of baggage to attend to. Basically it takes you a lifetime.

My situation was complicated by the fact that in this profession, at least in North America, a little anger is a useful tool. Every student will tell you that a teacher’s stare is his or her best weapon. That stare has to contain more than a hint of menace to be effective. A hallway scolding is often necessary to rein in unruly students. Yard duty is not for wimps. In all of these ways, anger is reinforced as a useful part of a teacher’s personality. One of the things about teaching in Asia that I am most grateful for is the complete absence of any discipline issues. Students here are respectful and polite. There is no need for anger; in fact in this climate it would be almost unforgiveably rude.

I have always taught my children that anger is sometimes necessary to define boundaries and prevent others from treating you disrespectfully. But lately I have begun to question the wisdom of my own advice. More and more I see anger as an impediment to personal growth in my faith, and a barrier to effective and peaceable relationships with others. Yesterday I had a further reminder of that insight. Someone who I considered a friend thought it necessary to unload a barrage of his anger on me. To be honest I was too shocked to respond, and merely allowed him to exhaust himself, being as mild and inoffensive in my own manner as the situation allowed. He stomped away, muttering invectives under his breath, and I was moved to reflect upon his unexpected behaviour.

I will confess to being upset, and somewhat upbraided myself for not responding more forcefully. But then I noted that I seem to be losing my appetite for a response in kind. Rather, I felt sad for the man for not getting better control of his thoughts and his emotions. It seems to me that he has become smaller in my sight, and more immature, like an adolescent who is upset at not getting his own way. In whatever direction our relationship now goes, it will be coloured by his outburst, and I will be less trusting and open with him in the future. I now view him as unreliable and unbalanced.

This I see is the true cost of anger. A dear friend and former colleague has written elsewhere (http://corrinaaustin.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/on-being-nice) about the cost of kindness. Kindness is costly, it is true. But there are compensations for acts of kindness, and a resulting growth in character. The cost of anger seems to me higher, with fewer compensations, and a loss, rather than a growth in character.

I regret that it has taken me so long to recognize what others have understood at a much earlier age, and hope that my ignorance on this issue hasn’t doomed my children to misunderstanding on this aspect of their relationships with others. Nor do I think that I have yet learned all that I need to learn on this issue, at least I hope not. The Bible says that the wrath of man does not accomplish the will of God (James 1:20). In the end I think this is the greatest cost of all.

One of our delights has always been entertaining our friends and family. During the course of our marriage we have tried to do as much of it as our time and budget would afford. It is not cheap, and it does take a fair bit of effort. But we look on it as a ministry, enjoy it for what it is, and look at the cost as a love offering. We will never forget the times that our dear friend Carol Stagg would invite the two of us and our three children over to their house in Bangladesh. Her hospitality was like a warm hug on a cold day; it was such blessing. That is what we try to do.

Last night we had the staff over for the evening. The reason, not that we needed one, was the birthday of a colleague. But with Christmas around the corner and Grad due tomorrow, it was more of an opportunity just to share some food and some music and be surrogate family to the expats here who feel the season pretty keenly. Pam did her usual marvelous job of preparing little goodies that included salmon and shaved egg roll-ups, garbanza and eggplant dips, an assortment of fresh fruit and custard – including star fruit and papaya, dragonfruit and blueberries – and a host of other small goodies. There was more than enough food to go around.

We looked at pictures and discussed travel plans, and then we sang Christmas carols for well over an hour. I had run off some song sheets, and with another colleague to help me out on guitar, we played through just about every Christmas song we could think of. No one was in a hurry to leave, and it was a most enjoyable evening, filled with laughter and good cheer. Smiles were still in abundance today, evidence that we had accomplished our purpose in spreading a little joy around the staff. If we also spread a message about God’s love for mankind through the carols, then that would be a blessing as well, wouldn’t it!

It has been almost five weeks since I was last in Cambodia, not by choice but of necessity.   Even though I was careful to get a 48 page passport when I renewed just over two years ago, my travel schedule is such that the passport had run out of pages and needed to be sent to Ottawa for replacement.  Although it was frustrating to be tied down, it did allow me the opportunity to get caught up on a number of thing s that there is usually little time for. 

I am happy to be heading back to Cambodia for a full week of meetings with contacts both old and new.  Both Steve and I strongly believe that the main purpose of our work is that of planting seeds.  Whether that is introducing new information or ideas, challenging ingrained ways of thinking or viewing the world or building networks, envisioning new ways of building relationships or simply encouraging others to plan creatively it is all essentially the same.  Whether in the context of education or healthcare, the needs are great.

However, we are not great. We are just simple people, filled with weakness and doubt, trying to do what we can to help. We definitely do not think that we are wonderful in any way. But we have both committed ourselves to a simple idea: that a God who loves us wants us to show that love in a tangible way to those whose needs are greater than our own. We have some skills that we bring to the task, but there is so much that we cannot do. We recognize that if God is not in what we do, all our effort will amount to nothing.

So once again I would ask for your prayers for me this week: that all the plans that I have made will bear fruit; that meetings will take place; that others will see the need to step into the many gaps in this project and take their part; that God would give me the physical strength that I need for this week; and that He would bless in the lives of those who are working to make Cambodia strong again.

Christ calls us to be agents of change in the world. We should be salt: preserving and adding spiritual flavour, and light: leading the way through our own example. But how are we to be agents of change for the world if we do not change ourselves?

Certainly God is involved in this process of change, for it is He that brought about the greatest change in our lives when we invited Him into our hearts and He “made us a new creature in Christ.” However, like all things with God, He is unwilling to do for us what we need to do for ourselves (He is, after all, the wisest of parents). So He leaves the rest of the changes we need to make in our hands.

Some of those changes are pretty clear-cut. I can still remember the first time I read the scripture about my body being the temple of the Holy Spirit. My immediate thought was “Then God doesn’t want me to smoke.” After a dozen years of being a one pack a day smoker, I quit that day without any further struggle. But other changes are more subtle.

When I hit fifty I began to run into all kinds of trouble with my back. I spent more time with it going out then I did with being fit. I had two choices: spending the rest of my life in some kind of pain, leading to increasing incapacitation, or getting fit. I went to a physiotherapist who laid out a program of exercises that I have been following ever since. I started a program of losing weight and went from 165 pounds down to around 140 over a period of a couple of years and have maintained it ever since. When I hit sixty I noticed that I went through another slide physiologically. My routine was no longer keeping up with my age. Time to up the ante. I bought a bike and started cycling, and recently have changed my morning routine to include a warm-up on a striding machine and thirty laps in the pool.

By no means do I intend you to think by this that change has to be all physiological. I am just using that as an example; something that is near at hand and not too personal to talk about the change process. As someone who has gone through a lot of change I would say that these are the factors to consider:

• Willingness. In order to change there has to be a recognition that you (no one) is perfect, and that you are willing to change in order to be better.
• Listening. Listening to your body, to God, to your spouse, to your friends, to circumstances. An ability to listen to what is going on is a fundamental necessity to change.
• Wisdom. You need to decide what needs to be changed and what needs to be left alone. Your friends could be suggesting changes that you know would be harmful. You need to decide on a course of action for change to occur without damage to yourselves and others. Change requires planning, and planning takes wisdom.
• Flexibility. Not everything you try is going to work. You may need to adapt your plans, tailor them to unforeseen circumstances, move your schedule around, and miss out on certain things. Your daily and weekly planner may look like a mess for while until you get it sorted out.
• Perseverance. Change is work; in point of fact change is just about the hardest work there is. You are going to encounter resistance, not only from others, but most especially from yourself. No lasting change will ever come about without perseverance. Change is not for the weak-spirited or the lazy-minded.
• Commitment. This is not the same as perseverance. Perseverance happens inside yourself; commitment comes from outside yourself. You will not succeed unless you are committed to a higher ideal than just yourself. It has to be for others; it has to be most particularly for God. You must get a sense of His purpose for your life and commit yourself to accomplish that purpose or you will never succeed at the change that is needed to get there.
• Love. This may seem like an odd one, but I would hold that this one is the key. You need to see that you are the object of God’s love, that His purpose for you is kind, that His desire is to bless. Once you get a hold of that, it does in fact become easier to change. This is what worked for me all those years ago when I gave up smoking: I realized that God loved me too much to want me to be enslaved by that thing. His love made it easy.

This list is not exhaustive, and there may be other lists out there that are more useful. This is just some personal reflection on a lifetime of change. God isn’t through with me yet either, so that means that more changes are ahead. I would be disappointed if it were any other way.