My father was born in 1917. Earlier that year an officer in the German Foreign Office by the name of Arthur Zimmerman sent a coded message to the German ambassador in Mexico instructing him to offer military aid to Mexico if they would attack the United States. In return, Mexico was to be offered the states of New Mexico, Arizona, and Texas after the Germans had won the First World War. The telegram was intercepted by Britain and decoded. The Americans were informed and declared war on Germany three months later. In October of that same year the Bolsheviks overthrew Kerensky’s democratic government in Russia and promptly withdrew from the war effort by prior arrangement with the Germans who helped bring them to power. It was a turbulent and uncertain time in which to be born, but on October 12 of that year, thirty-four year old Louisa Townend gave birth to my father, Wyndham Townend Wise.

The father of that child, forty-three year old Wyndham Kent Wise was not married to Louisa for the simple reason that he was already married to another woman, Gertrude. There were no children of that marriage, so my father was my grandfather’s only child. Apparently that didn’t count for much, for a few years after the war ended my grandfather sailed off to Shanghai leaving his wife, mistress and child behind. Undeterred, Louisa and her son sailed after him to Shanghai in late 1925 or early 1926 when Dad would have been eight.

Shanghai was booming at that time as Britain was determined to restore and even enlarge its overseas empire now that Germany had been defeated. Shanghai boasted a defensible harbour and cheap labour. My grandfather was a building foreman, which was likely a valuable asset, despite having no Mandarin. He was also a scoundrel of the first order, and by the time Louisa and her young charge had arrived, my grandfather had already acquired a Chinese ‘wife’ and wanted nothing to do with his former mistress or the burdens of fatherhood. After a few weeks of pleading for him to return to England, Louisa accepted the inevitable and returned with young Wyndham from Vladivostok on the Trans-Siberian Railroad.

By May of 1926 my father was back in England, and was enrolled at the Perse School in Cambridge where he remained for the next six years. Perse is one of the oldest and most highly regarded schools in all of Britain. It also offered free tuition to needy families at that time, which is likely what drew my grandmother. After graduating from Perse in 1932, my father, now 14, went Loughborough College in Leicester to study engineering. Loughborough was famous for its apprenticeship programs, which is likely where my father developed his mechanical competence. However, in September, 1935 my grandmother passed away in Cambridge, leaving my father without support and forced to leave school and find a job.

Dad went to work at the Savoy Hotel in London as a bellhop. One of the guests, Raymond Mays, took a liking to young Wyndham, and offered him a job as an apprentice mechanic with his firm. Mays, fresh off his 1935 win at the German Grand Prix, was pre-war Britain’s most famous driver and racing entrepreneur, and the two car companies he founded, ERA and BRM are legendary in England. Mays was pretty legendary himself, a swashbuckling character who once drove from John O’Groats in Scotland to Land’s End in a single day, crossing the whole of England long before there were motorways. Dad thrived at ERA, and saw out his apprenticeship with the firm, developing a life-long passion for racing and race cars that he passed on to his two sons.

However, this growing success was about to be interrupted by Hitler, as Germany invaded Poland on September 1, 1939, and England immediately declared war on Germany. Three months later, now 22 years old, my father volunteered in the war effort, joining the Territorial Army as an enlisted man. Within the year he was promoted to Second Lieutenant and his unit was ordered to Dorset in preparation for assignment to East Africa. The Green Howards, as his unit was called, were massed near the militarily significant British town of Worth Matravers, site of one of the top secret radar installations that ringed Britain’s southern coast. It was here that my Dad met my Mom.

The German Blitz on London began in September 1940 resulting in widespread destruction and disruption. Planning and even communication became constrained, if not impossible. The military intelligentsia, known collectively to the British as ‘The Boffins,’ regularly met in Worth Matravers in a bunker carved out of an old beer cellar in The Square and Compass Inn. Locals, including my parents, spoke of having a pint of an evening when a motorcade would draw up outside and several high ranking military and political men would stroll in, grab a few pints, and then disappear into the basement for the rest of the evening. By morning they would be gone. It was in this pub, following a two month courtship, and a marriage ceremony at the nine hundred year old St. Nicholas, that my parents spent their wedding night. It was to be the only night of their newly married lives as Dad and his regiment shipped overseas to Africa the following day. He would not get back to England and my Mom until 1945 when the war in Europe was over.

Dad did not speak much about the war. He told me of the young cheetah cub he kept as a pet in Kenya after its mother was killed for raiding their camp one night. Dad liked Kenya, and often spoke of wanting to retire there. He was by now in charge of a Kikuyu regiment of the King’s African Rifles. Mom would speak of Dad barking orders in Swahili as he slept and of his recurring bouts of malaria long after he returned to England. He told me of tracking some Italian prisoners who had escaped. They found their boots on the banks of a crocodile infested river. He told me that he had watched helplessly as a friend of his died from drowning after the boat they were in capsized in the Indian Ocean off the coast of what is now Bangladesh.

After the African campaign was over, now acting major in charge of the motor pool, Dad was reassigned to the Burmese front, seeking to keep the Japanese from coming over the Burmese Hills into India. All the British airfields in Burma had been destroyed by the Japanese, so the forward base was in Cheringa, in the southern panhandle of Bangladesh. The British built a railroad bridge across the Karnaphuli River to connect the port at Chittagong to the airbase in Cheringa to move supplies to this forward base where Dad was stationed. Both the bridge and the airstrip still stand, as does the tiny cemetery in Chittagong where many of my father’s regiment are buried. Dad hated Cheringa and called it the armpit of the world. But he was tough and resourceful, and survived that assignment, as he had survived so much in his young life.

Returning to England after the war, now 28 and retired from the army with medals and honours, Dad was able to finally take up married life. He and Mom settled in Colchester, where there was an engineering firm and the prospect of stability, and began a family. Five years, two miscarriages and one infant death later, Mom and Dad with their three surviving children were established at 52 Turner Road in Colchester just across the street from the General Hospital and not far from High Woods Country Park. It was, and still is, a lovely place to grow up.

But it was not cheap. And promotions and opportunities were slow in coming. Looking to support his young family, Dad undertook to move us all to Canada when I was six. He has been offered a job with Dorman Diesels, a British firm with a growing presence in North America. Dad rode the success of that expansion to General Manager and a very comfortable lifestyle that I enjoyed throughout my teenage years. He worked long hours on the way up, travelling to remote locations in Eliot Lake and even further north to sell diesel engines. But he was not an absent father.

Dad was a kind and genial man. I can’t think of a single picture of him where he doesn’t have a lopsided, optimistic grin. Life had thrown a lot of mud in his direction, but he had learned to make pies of it, and was comfortable in his competence. Nor was he much of a man to complain. He had his first heart attack when he was 39. We were driving down Eglington Ave in Toronto at the time, all five of us in the car when he suddenly groaned and clutched his chest. He calmly pulled over to the side of the road, recovered his breath, assured us that everything was alright, then eased back into traffic and drove on as if nothing had happened. He never did go to the hospital. That’s the kind of man he was.

He was also a very careful man. He worked on this one model of the Cutty Sark for about six months. He carved masts from dowels, fashioned rigging from string, turned miniature pulley wheels into turnbuckles. He was inventive and he was patient. Everything had to be to scale, and painted in the correct colours. I would read in the living room while he worked, absorbing his attentive manner by osmosis and stealing furtive looks at his craftsmanship. Ask anyone who knows me how attentive to detail I am. This is where it comes from.

But model boats weren’t his passion, model trains were. He built his layout from scratch in the basement of our house on 19 Larabee Crescent. It was only four by eight, but it was built in ‘O’ gauge so there was plenty of room for several tracks and stations. He built ramps, and formed hills. He built the station yards from balsa wood. All of the switches were electrically wired and brought back to a control panel with dozens of switches and relays. I remember staring up at the maze of colour wires and marveling at the capacity my father had for detail. When we sold our house on Larabee and moved to Weston, there were three buyers from the crescent lined up and bidding for the layout. In England, in a smaller house, he moved to ‘N’ gauge, and continued his same care for authentic detail to the end of his life.

Dad was also a very literate man. Not fond of novels, he read the Globe and Mail from cover to cover every night, and the New York Times on the weekend, finishing with their famous crossword. Perhaps the latter explained his prodigious vocabulary. When he scolded us, it was an education in itself. When he was pleased with us, he would recite entire poems by heart, and had a quirky sense of humour and a talent for accents that would come out when recounting old Stanley Holloway monologues like ‘Albert and the Lion.’ He also had a fondness for drama, which he and Mom exercised as members of the Don Mills Players, which garnered some attention in Toronto in its day. I remember one night he and his good friend Dino Voyatzis coming into the rec room one evening asking my brother and I which one of us could belch on demand for an upcoming role. I don’t think that production ever saw the light of day.

When we moved to Etobicoke, he built a model car set for his two boys from scratch. He carved out the track on Masonite with a router, and laid down aluminum strips that he wired to conduct electricity. It would back on itself with ramps and overpasses and my brother and I were the envy of the neighbourhood. The three of us would go off to track meets with our race cars with their custom tires that Dad had a business contact make for him. We invariably won; my brother more often than I. We were older then and looking forward to driving for real. Dad insisted that he teach us, for driving was what he loved best.

And man could he drive! He never raced, and he was certainly never careless, but he brought that same attention to detail to driving as he did to everything else. He hated automatics, and thought them useless in the cold weathers of Canada. But if you sat in the back, you would never know he was going through the gears, he was so smooth. He logged every mile, and every drop of gas. He could tell you to within a fraction his gas mileage for every mile he drove. He knew every road in Toronto and the easiest way from any two points in town. He was never flustered, and never had a single accident in his entire driving life.

He said as he was teaching me to drive that if I didn’t know what every driver was doing or was about to do for a mile up the road and half a mile behind that I had no business being at the wheel. Once, as he was teaching me to drive, we passed a line of parked cars and he asked if I had looked under the wheels to see if I could see the legs of any children running onto the street. I shamefacedly admitted that I had not looked. He had me pull over and drove home himself. If I wasn’t going to listen to his instruction, what was the point of him teaching me? He taught me to set the outside mirrors as cars passed so there was never a blind spot, and that the straightest distance between two points was a straight line whatever the white paint might say.

When Dorman Diesels closed its North American operation, Dad was forced to move back to England to keep his pension. They settled in Lincoln, which I loved to visit. Dad thrived in the ten years he had before retirement, and worked hard to meet the needs of the company’s clients. After he passed away, Mom showed me letters he had received on his retirement from all over the world; dozens of them, all thanking him for his courtesy and helpfulness. He and Mom enjoyed their retirement, traveling throughout England on the back roads, staying at little inns they found and enjoying their time together.

He had loved his children as we were growing up, but perhaps his desire to see us grow up right might have constrained that love from flowering. He had no such constraints with his grandchildren. When he and Mom visited us in St. Thomas, Liz was almost two, and well able to walk. She never got a chance to while he was with us. She was in his arms the entire time, walking or sitting with a big silly grin on his face. He only put her down to eat and sleep.

He died like he lived, an absolute gentleman. Racked with pain from the cancer that was ravaging his body, his only thought was that I should seek to bring about reconciliation between my brother and my mother, something I was never able to do. He never spoke about himself; he never spoke about his pain. We were living in Europe that year, so our children got to visit a couple of times, the last during the March Break. Dad was in a wheelchair by then, only able to walk a short distance. But he fully enjoyed that visit. He passed away the following month, just after Mom’s birthday. Just like him to wait.

On my last visit with him, just days before he passed away I finally got a chance to speak to him of my faith, and ask his permission to allow a Christian pastor I had come to know to visit him in the hospital. Perhaps his time in a Christian hospice during his final few months had softened his heart to God, for he agreed. I learned later that this pastor had brought about his reconciliation with God, and that my Dad died trusting Him. I trust that this may be so. I would like to think that in heaven I would get the chance to see again the man that has so shaped my life. If I have any civility in character, any forbearance in the face of pain, any kindness to strangers, any courtesy to women, any determination to never settle for anything less than the absolute best in everything I attempt, I owe that to my father, who was born on this day, October 12, 100 years ago.


Our summer visit now half done, we flew direct out of London to Calgary, and were met by our darling daughter Liz and her irrepressible children Russ and Layla, who chatted happily all the way home. Layla seemed all grown up, and no longer the baby that we knew. Russ was his sweet chatty self, so full of projects and adventures. It was so sweet to see them both again. However, I must confess that I was overwhelmed when I saw the size of the project facing me at their home. Two years of the kind of sedentary life I have been required to live to get up to speed on planning IB Diploma English had not prepared me physically for what lay quite visibly in their front yard.

I knew some facing stone had fallen. I did not reckon on the width, thickness, or weight of each stone, nor on the depth of the mortar still clinging to each. It took two days to clean the stone from the wall, and sort the stone from the mortar. It took Pam another half day to move the stone into the garage while I worked on the gate on the other side of the house necessary to keep their new dog in the back yard. The gate required repurposing the existing metal posts by cladding them in wood and tying the gate into the new wooden fence that Greg and his crew had built earlier that summer. It took me two days, far longer than I would have figured, but then these things usually do.

We did get time to go to Liz’s new retirement home to see where she now works. She had arranged for some of Russ’ friend from nursery school to visit at the home, and I played and sang a few songs that were geared to both kids and seniors. The kids danced and the seniors clapped and smiled and a good time was had by all. It was great to see Pam interact with her grandchildren. She has such natural way with young children, who seem to know not only that she loves them unconditionally, but will not tolerate nonsense. They feel safe in her company, and relax.


My son Dave and I got in a few visits together. He is now working for McEllhanney, who were recently awarded the contract for completing the ring road around Calgary. It is an important company in Canada, with good salary, benefits, and opportunities for promotion and professional development. We caught a movie, grilled some steaks, and chatted about phones and trucks. He is an easy guy to talk to, and I always enjoy our times together. Greg and Liz got an evening alone while we babysat the kids, but no trips to the Rockies this summer, despite the free entrance to all federal parks in recognition of Canada’s 150 th birthday.

With our typical crowded schedule, once again we had to leave the day before Russ’s birthday but we did have a little party and got to see him open the pulleys and levers he had requested for his birthday.

The flight home was uneventful, and for once traveling through the States was blessedly smooth. We arrived home to our new apartment on the second floor, which we had made sure was properly sorted and cleaned before we left. We will miss our old digs next door, and certainly there is no doubt that this place is considerably darker and less inviting. But it was a welcome respite all the same, after another three weeks of living on the road, and I fell into bed with great relief and gratitude. Another year in Cayman awaits, and though Pam faces an uphill climb of preparation and adjustment to her new responsibilities, the bulk of my angst and preparation is behind me, and I face a new year with great expectation and satisfaction for where the last two years has brought me.

Going home to Canada from the Cayman Islands is a whole lot easier that going home from Malaysia. By a factor of about 20. You can fly from here direct to Toronto on either West Jet or Air Canada in just under four hours. Given the increasingly belligerent rhetoric coming out of Washington regarding us ‘foreigners,’ direct is definitely the way to go. That said, we were less than impressed with the train from Pearson Airport downtown. We got off at Bloor and had to haul suitcases up and down stairs and across busy streets to get to the subway. People coming from the airport are on that train. That is why there is a train. People coming from the airport will have luggage. It seems redundant to point this out, but clearly not to the brain trust responsible for that lack of planning.

Once again Jane and Joe were happy to let us stay at Joe’s house during our stay in Toronto, but we didn’t get to see either Tessa or Sarah-Jane. We did get to shop at UniGlo, our favourite Asian store, and I did some much needed shoe shopping for my poor dysfunctional feet. We got in a quick visit to Toronto’s fabulous AGO, an annual pilgrimage and saw the stunning Georgia O’Keefe exhibit, then we rented a car for a leisurely drive east along the north shore of Lake Ontario. We stopped for lunch at Jane and Joe’s cottage in Prince Edward County, and arrived in Ottawa around supper time to visit with friends and former colleagues in Malaysia, Jim and Karen Leonard.

Jim and Karen brought a ton of furniture back from Asia, and there apartment was most tastefully decorated with pieces that seemed to be very comfortable in their transplanted home. We were joined at dinner with Shelley Smith-Dale, another colleague from Taylor’s CPU program, and had a most pleasant evening reminiscing about our adventures in Southeast Asia. After another pleasant drive back along number 7 highway, we dropped the car and took the train down to London. Although we invariable stay with Pam’s brother and wife Syl, her brother was visiting from out West, and we ended up at the Ivey-Spencer Leadership Centre instead. The choice was fortunate, for the place was well-equipped and included a buffet breakfast for a very affordable price.

Syl’s brother and wife from the West were good company, and made a welcome addition to our regular games of rook and euchre when we are home. We even met up with Joe and Lorrie at the Playhouse in Blythe and all eight of us had a nice dinner afterwards in Exeter. We squeezed in as many other visits as we could while we were in the area, with friends from church, but time was particularly tight on this trip, and did not afford us much time to reconnect with our former lives. We did manage to get in a breakfast with Matt and Kate, and a lovely lunch with dear friends Al and Shelley.

I also responded to what I perceived to be an urging from the Holy Spirit to see an old Christian friend and teaching colleague Bill Turford, and I am glad I did. Now living in Stratford, he had finally come to terms with the tragic death of his oldest son, Scott, many years ago. It was good to see how Christ had healed that wound, and to finally see on Bill’s face a peace and reconciliation that had been missing for so many years. It was a good visit, and a reminder that God’s healing is for the heart and soul primarily. It is we frail humans that only see the body as important. God sees deeper.

Sometime in August, when I was 27, I encountered God. It wasn’t entirely a surprise, though the nature of that encounter and its impact on me still strikes me as extraordinary. I had, after all, been looking for God for about 15 years. I had gone looking for him in drugs, in churches, in music, in literature, in obscure and arcane practices, and relationships with the wild and the willful. But in August of that year my search had turned serious.

I had just finished my first year teaching in a small Ontario town, and had finally achieved a measure of financial and professional security after a decade of upheaval. I had finally grown tired of my dissolute and deceitful ways with women and the world, and was looking for a fresh start. I wanted that fresh start to include an understanding of the Infinite that I had glimpsed in the lives of others and heard of through the testimony of those who had encountered It/Him. I had read finally read enough and seen enough to know that an Infinite Being did exist, and that there were those who had lived and were living in the presence of that Infinite Being. But I never thought I would ever have a personal encounter myself. I was about to.

I packed up my car with my worldly belongings. They didn’t amount to much. Among them were three books of special note. There was a zippered leather Bible that my grandmother had given me at my confirmation, a Good News Bible that I had picked up at the Sally Ann in town, and a copy of the I Ching that I had been following for about a year. I parked on the campus of Brescia College in London and got out for a cigarette. It was two in the morning and not a soul around. The sky was achingly clear and the Milky Way was spread out across it like a diamond carpet beyond the pines that rimmed the parking lot.

After all the turmoil of the past ten years of my life, the moment was a pool of serenity. I thought it might be a good time to cast some coins and read what the I Ching had to say about the road ahead. The first three tosses of the coins all yielded solid lines, an auspicious beginning for the hexagram. The next two throws were also solid lines, and I became very excited. Six solid lines are the most favourable reading in the entire book. I had never cast a perfect hexagram, and here I was facing the distinct possibility with my last throw.

I paused, bowed my head and prayed to God to allow these coins to fall tails. All three did. A perfect hexagram. The best possible throw. The best possible future. But that is not what struck me. What struck me was that Someone had answered my prayer. I had not prayed to the Chinese god of the I Ching. There is no such god. Those who follow the I Ching believe that fate and wisdom determine our earthly outcomes, not some Infinite Being that cares for us personally.

No, when I had prayed, I had prayed to the God that I had known as a child. The God that had once walked on this earth and left instructions on how to find Him. The God that I had sought and not found at my confirmation. That is the God I prayed to, and He, ignoring a decade of personal failure and weakness, ignoring even that I was looking for answers in the practice of ancient superstitions, He had graciously answered that wistful prayer for guidance.

I was overcome with gratitude, and confess that not knowing how to express my thanks, I looked up into the heavens. Those who are familiar with the Hitchcock Effect, or dolly zoom, will best understand what came next. Hitchcock pioneered the dolly zoom in Vertigo by moving the camera away from the object while simultaneously zooming in. The effect is disconcerting, and a good analogy for what happened next. I thought as I looked that Someone beyond the pines, beyond the stars, beyond the universe itself had heard my insignificant prayer for guidance and had heard me.

In an instant, in a breath, that entire distance seemed to collapse in a rush of vertigo that brought the Infinite beside me. I know that this cannot sound anything but foolish, and there is no other way to express it than this. I felt the presence of the Infinite beside me. There was no electricity in the air, no sudden change of temperature. I did not hear an audible voice. I felt no reassuring hand on my shoulder. But the Infinite stood beside me, and it was overwhelming. I gasped in wonder. The Bible speaks of a God who is able to do “infinitely more than we can ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). I know what that means. I know what that feels like. It lasted less than a minute. It has stayed with me for a lifetime and completely altered my life.

Yes, I did read through the Bible, or at least the four gospels, until I understood what I needed to do to accept that God as lord of my life and begin living according to His precepts. But that outcome was a dead certainty after that moment in the presence of God. I have talked to hundreds of Christians about their encounters with God since that day. In North America my experience is still considered unusual, and I typically don’t mention it for that reason. When we lived in Asia we heard plenty of stories like mine, and others far more compelling. I do not believe that such experiences are unique. Nor do I think that they are necessary. My wife has had a vital relationship with Christ for her entire life and has never experienced an encounter with God such as mine.

I am not offering this as a template or a prescription, but rather a reflection on my own journey from the vantage of age. Like all who have walked with God in the daily grind of life, I have had my troubles and woes. I have tasted both success and failure. I am far from perfect, as anyone who knows me will testify. But beyond all my weakness, beyond all my trials, beyond anything that this life can offer or deny, this one thing I will know to my last breath. I have stood in the presence of God. And will again someday.


Jon’s work commitments required him to be in Orlando for a week so they decided to take the opportunity to drive down as a family, celebrate the school year end and explore Disney World. It is a pretty daunting task for Nicole to attempt to manage three kids alone in the parks and pools so they invited me to come along as well. It was a wonderfully successful week largely due to Nicole’s organizational skills and attention to every little detail of the adventure. We stayed at a hotel with two pools, a lazy river and waterslide and alternated between full days in the parks and pool days at the hotel to get rested up.

The kids are at great ages for the parks with the ability and knowledge to appreciate the venues and rides and the stamina to keep on going for the entire fourteen hours we spent at the Magic Kingdom. Eli is tall enough for most rides and is fearless; never to be out-done by her brother and sister. Tower of Terror (which we did twice) and Space Mountain are joy rides for these guys. We all loved Soarin’, the 3D videos and the gentle rides through the woods of Snow White and the oceans of the Little Mermaid. You can never go wrong with a Frozen sing-along and a chance to do what snowmen do in summer.

With a full day at each of the Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Hollywood Studios, we experienced the dark side and the light side of all that Disney has to offer and it was great. We met princesses and storm troopers. Jon even managed to wrap up his work commitments in time to join us for the final day to see the kids train as young Jedi, conquer their fears and face the evil ones. What a wonderful week!

Since we moved back to this side of the world, every break has been about accomplishing as much visiting with family and friends as we can manage to squeeze into the time allotted. This has been absolutely wonderful but has also left us looking for a bit of actual vacation time. Since we had neither the time or energy to do the planning needed for a trip, we opted for the easy route and booked a Western Caribbean cruise.Since our dates were predetermined by the school calendar we had little choice in terms of destinations or ship so ended up sailing out of Tampa on the Rhapsody of the Seas.

The ship was quite lovely, our little cabin very cosy and pleasant and our cabin and dinner company were just fine. As always the food was very plentiful and always available and there was opportunities to dance every evening. We were disappointed by just how “commercialized” everything on the ship has become since our last cruise thirteen years ago. Much of what used to be quiet sitting areas, library and games room had been converted to retail sales space and we were constantly bombarded with announcements and fliers for “once in a life time offers” for art, jewelry, photographs and of course your next cruise. .

Two of our days were spent sailing and we booked snorkeling excursions at each of our four shore stops. Roatan is a small island on the coast of Honduras, with beautiful reefs close enough to the beach that we were simply able to swim out and see some amazing coral and fantastic fish.

Belize does not have a port large enough for the cruise ships to dock so we needed to anchor quite a distance away from shore and tender into the port. We opted to take a forty-five minute boat ride to a tiny, private island that is completely surrounded by a coral reef that is said to have 106 different species of live coral, 500 species of colorful fish and hundreds of invertebrate species. The guide was very knowledgeable and the calm waters just off the beach were perfect for snorkeling.

In Cozumel, the reef was somewhat deeper so allowed for us to see some larger species of fish and different types of coral but unfortunately the weather was overcast and limited our vision somewhat. After just a few minutes on the beach, a thunderstorm hit and we ended up spending the remainder of the excursion under a thatch hut being plied with free margaritas. Costa Maya was much the same with some half-way decent snorkeling just off the beach and Ernesto offering endless free rum punch.

We finished our cruise where we began, in Tampa, and had a nice breakfast at the Sheraton Riverwalk where we had spent our first night. We would recommend the hotel, which is perfectly located and has a nice view of the river. Tampa was an unexpected surprise, a very nice American city with a lively core and pleasant vibe. In future we intend to explore a little more of Florida, especially the Gulf Coast, which is clean and affordable, and only an hour’s flight from Cayman. Bon voyage!

It is often said that cousins are the first friends we will ever have. True, but they are far more than that. Cousins not only draw from some of the same gene pool, but also show up on the same family tree. They share irrevocable experiences of childhood that can never be lost and an understanding of the unique joys and challenges of your crazy family. No matter where life takes you, neither geography or decades can take any of that away. All that is certainly true for Sandra and I.

Our mother’s were sisters and we were born five weeks (I being the more mature of the two) and one mile apart. As kids we did everything together. We were always in the same class at school until we headed into high school. I always figured that she got the beauty but I got the brains. Our lives took very different paths in that she married soon after graduating from high school and she and Larry raised their three kids fairly close to home. We both had two boys and a girl but my slower start meant that our oldest child was born about a month after her youngest. Since the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, her kids settled close to home while ours scattered to various sides of the continent.

We had a great time of catching up and reminiscing this week as Sandra and Larry came to Cayman to get a break from winter and spend some precious time with us. We took the opportunity to celebrate not only our shared 65th birthdays but also their 46th and our 39th anniversaries, by taking a catamaran cruise across the North Sound to a favourite restaurant. That whole cousin thing was most evident when Sandra and I would kill ourselves laughing over shared jokes that only puzzled Steve and Larry.

It is always fun to introduce others to the beauty, peace and experiences of our adopted home of Grand Cayman. We shared beautiful sunsets, picnics on the beach and evening visits on the patio. Larry even decided that he enjoyed swimming in the ocean and Sandra reigned in her claustrophobic tendencies to explore the wonders of the underwater universe, in a submarine. It was wonderful visit all around.

March 22-29/17

Yesterday I was 64 and today I am 65, a significant milestone by most anyone’s definition. We marked the day with a cruise across the North Sound with some friends from CIS and dinner at our favourite, funky restaurant.

When I was young, I often thought about how it would feel to be 65. To be officially a senior citizen, a recipient of OAS, free from the challenges of work and child-rearing, just relaxing and trying my best to make my body and mind last as long as possible. Not surprisingly, that is not at all how it feels to be 65.

While I definitely do not feel old, I also most definitely do not feel young either; and I am rejoicing in the differences between the two. Seasoned by years of dealing with difficult, challenging and at times heart breaking circumstances while recognizing God’s ever-present hand; gives me the confidence that I can face whatever lies ahead without the fear and anxiety that often haunted the years when I was young. I have more confidence in the person that I am, in the gifts I have been given and the skills that I have developed and I have less need to measure up to the imagined or real expectations of others.

Yet I still enjoy and am no less interested in, the same things that I did as a young person. Plus, those things are enhanced by my own grown children, the spouses they have chosen and the wonderful grandchildren that we love so dearly. I am no less adventuresome, am still having fun and have the freedom, education and finances to choose my activities. I had a full and rewarding career in Nursing, eight amazing years to serve in SE Asia and finally the opportunity to pursue the education that had repeatedly been set aside in order to meet more urgent needs.

Most of all, I have the joy of sharing this journey with the love of my life; a faithful husband who loves the Lord and has supported and encouraged me every step of the way. He has a passion for excellence and a hunger for learning and his commitment to, and compassion for, those he serves have spurred me on to be that best that I can be.

I appreciate each day more fully, celebrate each small pleasure and experience more deeply and I am exceedingly grateful for each person in my life. I am fortunate to be in good health and the loss of health, even the lives of many friends, reminds me of just how blessed I am to still be able to speak into the lives of others. I have learned that every day is precious, love is a profound and sacred gift, prayer changes things, gratitude corrects perspective, being right is not always the most important thing. I know there is no point in judging others because they are often just trying to do the best they can, forgiveness and generosity are healing for me as much as for the other and dancing is good for the body and the soul. I know there are many more things left that I would like to do.

I love being a Grandma and one of the joys of this period of being an unemployed graduate, is the freedom to drop everything and hang out with kids and grandkids. Liz and Greg were able to get away for a week in Phoenix at Greg’s parent’s home there. They graciously invited me to meet them there to get in some stolen grandkid time. It is a great home, on a canal with a fun little pontoon boat for tootling around the neighbourhood. The great sun-soaked back yard has a lovely little pool and plenty of ducks to feed.


The kids are growing up so quickly and seem to develop in leaps and bounds between each visit. Russ is three and a half and a delight to be with. He is very polite, greeting new people with “hello, it is very nice to meet you”. It was fascinating to watch him independently reading books that most kids in grade two would struggle to read. He was delighted to be a big boy, sleeping on the pull-out in his other grandma’s room.

Layla, at fifteen months is as sweet as they come. She decided this week that walking is the best choice for mobility and went from a tentative steps between furniture to confidently motoring around the house and playground. She feel in love with some over-sized stuffed animals that decorate the bedrooms and spent hours playing with them. I took her for a walk to the drugstore and bought her a small, bug-eyed stuffed kitten. She spent the entire walk home playing a little game by herself in which she would hug and rock the kitten and then place it in the cupholder of her stroller. After a few seconds, she would repeatedly sign “more, more” and then finally pick up the kitten for more hugs. It was the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

Greg and Liz left on the Friday and I stayed on for a Grandma weekend with Greg’s mom, Holly. We were joined by Greg’s sister’s mother-in-law Joanne who also shares two grandkids with Holly who are essentially the same age as Russ and Layla. We had a fun, relaxing weekend, with some fine dining and wining, shopping and even a couple of rounds of Top Golf. These are ladies you can really brag bout your grandkids to.

It was the winter of 2006 when we were last together as a family. Together? Only in thought . Our son was in Albany, his wife Nicole any day expecting their first child. Pam’s dear mother, recently passed, was not yet interred. We had already signed on with Taylor’s College in Malaysia, and although we had sold our renovated hovel on Upper Ave, we had not yet moved into the condo we had bought on Wharncliffe as a hedge against what we were sure would be an escalation of real estate during our sojourn in Southeast Asia. The family gathered for a funeral, which was the closest to a family Christmas we had that year. It was to be the last gathering for us for many years, and our last Christmas in Canada until this year.


Much has happened in the intervening ten years. We are much older, more educated, much more travelled, and perhaps wiser, though time will be the best judge of such an assessment. However, for all our adventures – and there have been many as any random sample of this weblog will attest – there has been a sadly missing dimension of this last decade: we have been miserable grandparents, at least in our own estimation. Following that sad interment of Pam’s Mom those many years ago, we returned to our home on Upper Ave to a voice mail from our son that said their first child had been born. With scarcely a pause to pack, we set out for Albany to welcome baby Benjamin into the world; a blessing of joy hard upon a season of sorrow.


From that time until this season we have not been home for Christmas. Though Taylor’s College was good enough to send us home at company expense, it was only once a year. A meager salary – by North American standards, at least – meant that this was all we could afford while we were there. Though Malaysia was clearly the Lord’s will for us, and was productive in ministry for eight years, it warred against our hearts to be so far away from our children’s five children as they were born and began to grow.  It was for this reason that we began to pray as long as four years ago, that the Lord would see fit to relocate us to the Western hemisphere so we could be closer to our family.


This year was the culmination of that prayer as we were able to travel not only to Toronto and London to see our siblings and their families, but also to Cleveland, Ohio to see Benjamin, now 10, and his two younger sisters in their new home. Words are insufficient – to see our son and his wife, and our grandchildren in their own home at Christmas; to play Santa in the distribution of presents; to sit around the table at a meal; to build Star Wars Lego with Ben; to dance with Abi and Eli to Wii, to watch The Wizard of Oz with our three grandchildren while their parents celebrated New Year’s in downtown Cleveland – these are gifts beyond measure, beyond price. These are treasures to hold in our memories for all time.


Words fail. You read this and look at the prose and the content. These mean so little. How can words express the holes in our hearts over these long years without our family at this most holy time? For this Christ came. For this He died. To show to us the importance of a love that is willing to endure whatever it costs to show that love to others. How so very grateful we are to the love that has been shown to us by all our family; to my dear sister-in-law and her two lovely daughters who put up with us/put us up in Toronto; to Pam’s most gracious brother and sister-in-law in London who did the same in London; and to our son and loving daughter-in-law, who shared their home and children with us in Ohio.


We are closer now than we were in Malaysia. It is but a four hour direct from Toronto on either Air Canada or Westjet. And we promise, as long as the Lord allows us to remain in Cayman, that we will never again go through a Christmas without our family, either in Cayman or in Canada. We cannot replace those ten years, but neither will we ever add to them again.


« Previous PageNext Page »